http://www.somethingawful.com/d/cliff-yablonski/i-hate-you-01.php
"Geriatrics From Jupiter attempt to abduct aging lesbian librarian Denise Smarkinson. I once saw a UFO over the creek out back but the cops said it was just a couple of the shithead kids next door playing in their treehouse and I had no reason to take shots at them and burn the woods down. It's called "NATIONAL SECURITY" you fatassed morons, look it up. I was going to be a cop but I got lost on my way to the police station."
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